Darkest Days
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Ted hasn't been the same since Tracy died. Robin and his kids try their best to help.


**I don't own HIMYM and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

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Ted hasn't been the same Tracy died. The kids kept him afloat in those darkest days afterwards, but he lost himself. His friends tried their best to help, but he pushed them away. He didn't know how to live in a world without the love of his life. Getting fixated on Robin again wasn't his best idea, but he definitely wasn't in the right frame of mind when he sat down to talk to Penny and Luke about their mother. Penny encouraged her father to go ask out Robin again because she thought it'd make him happy again. He was so sad it scared her sometimes. "I cannot believe you did that," Luke muttered to his older sister.

She shrugged. "I figured Aunt Robin will make him happy again! Remember how full of life Dad used to be? He deserves to feel like that again."

"Aunt Robin's going to end up rejecting him. Do you not remember that Marvin and I caught her and Uncle Barney making out at Aunt Lily and Marshall's last month?"

"Shit. I've been overloaded on some much information about Dad's life I completely forgot. What the hell did I just do?" Penny just wanted the best for their father – they both did.

"We need to call him and stop him." Luke hoped he didn't embarrass himself and ruin his friendship with Robin. But he found he really didn't care after listening to such a long story and headed to his bedroom to watch a movie.

Penny panicked for a while and called Ted, but eventually gave up when her father refused to pick up. She desperately hoped her aunt let him down gently. Fortunately for her, that wish would come true.

When Robin saw Ted, she immediately invited him up just so she could see how he was. When she saw the French horn again, she cringed. "What's up?"

"I have something important to tell you." Ted grinned at his friend.

"First, tell me how you are. How are the kids?"

"We're all great. You?"

"I'm good. But Ted, I want to know how you're doing specifically. I know the anniversary of Tracy's death is coming up, and I'm worried." Tracy's death had knocked Ted so far off balance he still hadn't found his way back.

"I'm dealing with it. Robin, I'm good. And I'm here for a reason. I want to be with you again. I love you, and we should give this another shot. It's why I brought the Smurf penis," he joked.

Robin didn't laugh. "Oh, Ted."

Ted cringed, wishing he hadn't let Penny talk him into this. "I fucked this up, didn't I?"

"No, not completely. You're not over Tracy. It's been six years, but you haven't moved on. I'm not what you want, and we both know it. You love the idea of me. We've both had other relationships and it's been over twenty years since we dated. And I know this is hard to hear, but I'm not the one who got away. I will always love you, just so you know, but not like that. Take some time to think about what you truly want. Have you kept up your appointments with the therapist?" Lily had told her about that since Ted hadn't mentioned anything.

He nodded. "I go tomorrow."

"Then talk to this person about today. I promise you that you will feel better then. Now give me a hug!" She opened her arms up to him and laughed when Ted swept her up into the hug.

"Thank you for not telling me to fuck off," he murmured a few minutes later.

"No problem. And Ted? You'll find someone to love again. Go home to Penny and Luke because they'll need you. And I'll talk to you later. Call me. And I'll try to find someone for you to go out with." Hopefully he wouldn't reject them.

Ted hugged Robin again, grabbed the French horn, and then walked out of the apartment. He then got in his car and made his way home. The kids greeted him as soon as he walked in. "It didn't go well?" Penny guessed.

"Nope. Should have realized I was making a mistake. Sorry for making you sit through all of that for nothing."

"Sorry, Dad. And it wasn't for nothing – we got to learn a lot about your life. Sure, it was boring at some points, but it was fun to hear. And we got to find out more about Mom! Now, how are you doing?" She didn't like the look on his face.

"Good."

"It's okay for you to be honest with us. We can handle it." They weren't delicate little flowers, and they had already been through so much. Plus, their father had already talked about his sex life and traumatized them. What could be worse than that?"

Ted looked down as a sob caught in his throat. He could not lose it in front of the kids – they didn't need to see it. But Luke surprised him by grabbing his hand and refusing to let go. "Dad, we're your kids. We're teenagers now – you don't have to be strong for us." He still remembered his dad locking himself in the bathroom to cry when his mom got sick and right after she died. It had been rough.

Ted gave in and crumpled over. "I just miss her so damn much. We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together! This wasn't supposed to happen. And I think about her every day, but I'm never going to see her again. And I'm happy I have you two. You're the best things I've ever done in my life."

Penny bit her lip to stifle her sobs, but failed. She and Luke both hugged Ted and let him cry it out. Today had just been a bad day for their dad, despite him trying to look on the bright side. At least his impulsive decision hadn't ruined anything (hopefully). "We miss her too, Daddy. And you can date – we really don't mind. We just want you to find someone. And hopefully we'll like her."

"I'm sorry," he sobbed.

"You don't have to be sorry." An uncomfortable Luke desperately wanted an escape so he could get out of this conversation.

"Yeah, you never have to be sorry." Penny smiled at him.

The three Mosbys held onto each other for a little while longer before they felt strong enough to deal on their own. The grief had caught them all off guard today.

Ted took Robin and Penny's advice to heart. Although he was never the person he was before Tracy's death, he found a way to heal and deal with his grief in a healthy way. And he did fall in love again, but that's because he looked forward and didn't live in the past. Tracy had told him he couldn't do that, but it had happened anyway. And it felt great to stop wondering about what could have been.


End file.
